With Susannah. And a copy of Grow your Own Vegetables by Joy Larkcom

Me and Susannah.

This is my mother. Not to be trifled with. She's the only person I've ever met to own a fly swat, a perforated spade designed to kill flies. Why? Discuss.

From Left to Right Dad, Shaun, Rosie, Me and Susannah. That's Coq au Vin I think. To quote the famous food critic and writer, Elizabeth David, it was 'very tasty'.

Mum cut my hair. From Hobo to Hero. With my sister.

On Boxing Day, my Aunt's man taught me how to prune an apple tree. My apple tree. Which I planted from a pip when I was twelve. It now bears superb fruit each year. I'm going at it with a pruning saw (which John (left) gave me) snipping branches from the middle to give it more air and light. I'm also looking like a tramp fighting for the last can of Special Brew.

Bits of tree. What's left is in the background.

Salisbury Plain in the background.

I look like a hobo in this photo. Believe me, it's no trick of the light. I like this photo because I know my mother won't.

My Father and I on a hill. We are discussing how surprised and delighted we are that a major family row hasn't erupted yet even though it's only just gone lunchtime.This time three years ago I'd reduced my sister to tears by getting drunk and pursuing a Radiohead vs. Toploader musical merit debate. My mother and I then had a fight about me fighting with my sister, and after that my father had a row with me about fighting with my mother. Then I had a cigarette and my mother ranted at me about not smoking etc etc.

More gratuitous landscapery...

Pewsey Downs, Wiltshire. Go there. The field below, incidentally, is the field in which the crop circle on the Led Zep cover was found.

Pewsey Downs, Wiltshire. The kind of cliched wallpaper shot which Microsoft go for, but with greyer clouds and grass of a colour which their marketing department would consider 'off brand'. But it works for me.

Me and Susannah - Xmas day.

Xmas day. My aunt on the left and Susannah on the right